Ups & downs

I think I hate March.

That sounds so harsh, but true for me. That's bad doctrine, but we can cover that later. I must admit though, I really think God is working to redeem this season, and build some new, precious memories for me, as you can not even begin to imagine.

In fairness to my readers, I guess I owe you an explaination of why I hate March. March 4th & March 28th are my sons' birthdays, and also our last day to hold them, as they were born into our Saviour's arms before they were born into mine. It's been 2 years since Ethan passed, and will be 3 since Gavin's death. And I am stuck...no longer am I blown away by grief....so instead, I am periodically wracked by guilt, when I don't feel bad enough. If you've lost a child, you know what I mean. If you haven't, I pray you never, ever, come to grasp what I mean. So March is basically a get through it, wet, miserable, very bad, lousy, no good sort of month. Bummer for Mr. P., whose birthday is tucked in there too. :(

God has done an amazing thing though...in tiny things and GREAT BIG THINGS this month...and we are only on day 5. In chronological order:

March 1-16 hrs after being dropped off at the local P.O., our I800-A landed safely in the Texas USCIS repository. And CHAD has a family!!!! http://reecesrainbow.org/?s=%2311+Chad This sweet love has been on our hearts for so long, as long as Penny has!!!

March 2- I was vomited on not once, but twice, all before 11 am....Oh wait, good list. This was good for a laugh at my expense, & some degree of relief by the intern who DIDN'T try to place the NGT (chicken...)

March 3-We were given the opportunity to formally present Princess Penny to our church family. Turns out, there's another family who has adoption experience in the same region, though not country, as us. And I have gone from zero to multiple potential travel buddies. This is a huge answer to prayer, Paul's in particular. To look out over the congregation and see the vast array of people who will rally around our girl as only a church family can is beyond uplifting (We worship here--> http://www.friendlychurch.org If you live in our neck fo the woods, and don't have a church home (no sheep stealin'), please join us some Sunday!)

March 4-I had a good cry, but also a good day. I love you, sweet boy of mine. I can't wait to hug you. I was told by a little Musser birdy to go check out this blog: http://babynumber10.blogspot.com and found a post entitled A Penny from Heaven. That someone is willing to rally around us, and they don't even know us, is so humbling, and so God.

March 5-Paul got a text message saying our I800-A has been formally received and routed for processing. I didn't expect this for a least another solid week.

And the month's just getting started. Thank you, Jesus. Your mercies are truly new each morning.